Overwatch 2 players are very particular about balance and fairness and their perception of both those things. So when I looked at these new patch notes and started skimming them, I was so concerned with seeing what changes were being made that I missed the “OVERWATCH 2 WIP VERY SERIOUS PATCH NOTES – DRAFT – DO NOT PUBLISH” up at the top and nearly had a heart attack. It’s still March and we have to be on our guard for April Fools’ jokes, and that includes an arcade mode with all these wacky balance changes.
But, honestly, some of these proposed changes sound pretty cool. Take the chaos of Overwatch 2’s already established Total Mayhem mode that increases health and decreases cooldowns and crank it up to 11. That’s the game that’s left after these patch notes.
The chaos begins by proclaiming every hero getting a new Ultimate voice line. For those unaware, Ultimate voice lines are pretty iconic and they help signal to both teammates and opponents that a high-impact ability has been cast. The patch notes argue that Overwatch veterans have an unfair advantage because they’ve been hearing Junkrat scream “fire in the hole” and running away and hiding lest they get blown up by an armed tire. So by changing voice lines, one might not immediately know Reinhardt is coming up with an Earthshatter when, instead of yelling “hammer down,” he starts singing the opening of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song,” or something and could be taken off guard.
Honestly, points to whoever wrote the copy for the developer comments for really committing to the bit, such as this note here on a change to Junker Queen’s Commanding Shout ability. Usually, this gives some additional health and speed to her companions, but under this new world order, it inflicts Bleed status on her foes because she “yells so loud she damages the eardrums of her foes.”
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Other terrifying examples of balance for April Fools include removing Ramattra’s Omnic Form, only allowing him to exist as a hulking monstrosity that can punch most heroes through a wall without a cooldown. Oh, and Reinhardt can fly when he charges now because he apparently enlisted the help of Torbjorn. The patch notes include a quote from Reinhardt that reads, “I COULDN’T CHARGE THE ENEMIES THAT WERE IN THE AIR SO I ASKED TORBJORN TO HELP ME OUT. NOW I AM THE ULTIMATE CRUSHING MACHINE, EVEN IN THE SKY!!!!!”
Read more: FYI: Get Away From The Overwatch 2 Push Bot If You’re Winning
But honestly, some of these changes sound like they’d make for great plays. Tracer has two changes here, one for her Recall ability that allows her to rewind her position a few seconds and recover health, and her Pulse Bomb ultimate that lets her throw down a powerful, sticky grenade. The change here is that Tracer’s Recall would pull enemies into her original vicinity with a vacuum. The developer note says the team is “pretty sure this is how time travel works and will be taking no questions.” But imagine dropping your Pulse Bomb and then using Recall to pull people into its vicinity. That would be kinda dope.
Other notable, fun tweaks include making Ana’s rifle capable of headshots, which has always been weird that despite being a sniper, she just can’t do that shit. I know she’s a medic and her bullets are different but equal rights for equal sights. Kiriko can now use her Swift Step to travel across an entire map and help her teammates, rather than being beholden to what seemed reasonable for a…wait, let me check my notes, a “magical fox that lets her teleport through walls.” Oh, and Genji finally gets the healing he’s been asking for because now he self-heals when he spams the “I need healing” voice line. So really, this just seems like the game Overwatch 2 players need.
All Heroes
Developer Comment: Veteran players have an advantage over newer ones when it comes to voice line recognition. In order to level the playing field, we’ve written and recorded new Ultimate voice lines for every hero.
To help players learn these new callouts, we’ve also increased the amount of Ultimate charge retained when swapping heroes.
Tank Role Passive
Developer Comment: Tank heroes are the raid bosses of teams. You should be fairly rewarded for defeating them, right?
Damage Role Passive
Developer Comment: It’s frustrating when you dive the backline by yourself and get no healing, especially when your team’s support heroes are busy respawning. This change should help keep you alive, at least.
Support Role Passive
Dev Comment: It’s tough to stay alive when flankers are about. This change should even out the odds a bit when you get ambushed. Please don’t use this offensively.
Developer Comment: The empowered Fist can also level a skyscraper or open a glass jar in a single attempt.
Seismic Slam
Developer Comment: It turns out the beams used to destroy projectiles also really hurt when used on people.
Defense Matrix
Developer Comment: Junker Queen yells so loud she damages the eardrums of her foes. Don’t worry though, it’s still a “friendly shout of encouragement” for her allies.
Commanding Shout
Developer Comment: It is believed that the threat of Orisa’s aerial body slam is the biggest crime deterrent in Numbani.
Javelin Spin
Fortify
Developer Comment: Ramattra is a lot more effective when he’s in Nemesis Form, so he’ll stay like that until everyone has suffered as much as he has.
Void Barrier
Block
Reinhardt Comment: I COULDN’T CHARGE THE ENEMIES THAT WERE IN THE AIR SO I ASKED TORBJORN TO HELP ME OUT. NOW I AM THE ULTIMATE CRUSHING MACHINE, EVEN IN THE SKY!!!!!
Charge
Developer Comment: In order to further align Roadhog as a tank who punishes bad positioning, we’ve increased the range of Hook to make all positioning bad positioning.
Chain Hook
Developer Comment: Gravitic energy is quite potent. If it’s strong enough to lift a giant rock, it can lift anyone.
Accretion
Dev Comment: Winston!
Winston?
Developer Comment: Wrecking Ball unleashes his signature moves that made him the Champion of the Scrapyard battle arena.
Grappling Claw
Minefield
Dev Comment: Gravity gravitates. That’s just science!
Graviton Surge
Particle Cannon
Dev Comment: In order to be more accurate to the fantasy, Dynamite fire now spreads between players.
Dynamite
Developer Comment: Bastion downloaded a software update, upgrading “Configuration: Assault” and allowing it to simulate his old “Configuration: Tank”
Configuration: Assault
Developer Comment: Cassidy can dodge anything using his cat-like reflexes. It’s a bit rough on his spine, though.
Combat Roll
Developer Comment: Echo now uses more of her fingers when shooting enemies.
Tri Shot
Developer Comment: Spamming a voice line for healing finally does something after everyone else has tuned you out!
Developer Comment: Hanzo spent many years mastering the bow and geometry to pull off this feat. It DEFINITELY has nothing to do with magic.
Storm Arrow
Developer Comment: Junkrat was a bit careless when packing his grenades, so now they spill out of his pockets whenever he knocks himself back.
Total Mayhem
Developer Comment: We noticed a decrease in Mei players helping their team “group up” in spawn with Ice Wall. This is core to Mei’s gameplay, so we added additional ice pillars to help facilitate it.
Ice Wall
Developer Comment: Rocket Jump? Sounds dangerous. But it is a viable means of travel when you can’t afford enough fuel.
Rocket Launcher
Barrage
Hover Jets
Developer Comment: After getting shot one too many times, Reaper no longer poses in place before teleporting despite it looking very cool.
Shadow Step
Developer Comment: Sojourn hasn’t been performing quite up to our expectations after reducing her one-shot potential. To remedy this, we’ve added a very fair stun to her kit
Power Slide
Developer Comment: Why leave it on the ground when you can keep it in your pocket instead?
Biotic Field
Developer Comment: As a safety measure, the Translocator will forcibly separate solid objects that have been teleported into each other. Unfortunately, this process is also quite painful.
Translocator
Developer Comment: It turns out there was a setting on Sentry Turrets that let’s them immediately target enemies when thrown! Symmetra estimates this change increases their efficiency by 32.33%…repeating, of course!
Sentry Turret
Dev Comment: We noticed that Torbjorn relies a little too heavily on his turret to deal consistent damage, so you won’t believe this one simple balance change that fixes that and makes him 1000% overpowered!
Overload
Developer Comment: Tracer now leaves a vacuum when she Recalls into the past. We are pretty sure this is how time travel works and will be taking no questions.
Recall
Pulse Bomb
Developer Comment: Poisonous bullets don’t work as quickly as normal ones do, but at least there’s more room for counterplay.
Widow’s Kiss
Developer Comment: Turns out whatever is in those syringes hurts a lot more when applied to the forehead.
Biotic Rifle
Developer Comment: Rumor has it that Baptiste is the record holder for both high and long jump.
Exo Boots
Developer Comment: Whip Shot now whips YOU! Works better if you say, “wheeeeee” while flailing about.
Whip Shot
Dev Comment: Kanezaka is a big town and Kiriko has lots of protecting to do. This change should help her get to where she needs to go in a timely fashion, especially during rush hour.
Swift Step
Developer Comment: We were alerted that Soundwave was able to knock back entire heroes but couldn’t do anything to projectiles. We’ve corrected this logical inconsistency.
Soundwave
Developer Comment: Our stats show that the “Battle Mercy” playstyle isn’t as common as we hoped. Here’s a small change that should nudge her damage potential in the right direction.
Caduceus Blaster
Developer Comment: You know that random Orb that killed you from across the map? That was 100% intentional. Biotics Orbs follow Moira’s every command, though they only understand “Stop” and “Go.”
Biotic Orb
Developer Comment: Zenyatta calls this technique the “Flying Kick,” but since he’s always floating should it just be called “Kick”?
Snap Kick
Overwatch 2 is close to wrapping up its third season, which means that we’re close to seeing the game’s next playable hero set to debut in season four. While Blizzard has yet to reveal this character, we do know at this point it will be a support hero.
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