Over the last 30 years, the classic adventure game Myst has been rereleased in countless forms, resurrected in 25th-anniversary boxsets, VR takes on the game, and even a full remake in 2021. But the power of the internet determines that nothing is sacred, and even the point-and-click Myst can be turned into the point-and-kill Myst FPS. Yes, developers Steven Nass and Peter Henningsen have released Myst FPS on itch.io, a free browser-based shooter that’s a good laugh, and an even better shitpost.
The shooter only lasts a few minutes and tasks you with killing 100 bat-like demons within five lives. You can watch a quick playthrough in this video. In classic arcade shooter fashion, swarms of enemies fly toward you as you’re left static, looking around with your on-screen pointer. A head-banging, Doom-riffing soundtrack plays in the background, while a gruff announcer chants “Myst! Myst!” in the background. Although, for a second, I thought he was berating my bad aim with “Missed! Missed!”
Myst FPS seems like a fun, nostalgic take on a classic game, right? Wrong, it’s actually the most elaborate shitpost I’ve seen in a while. After killing 10 demons, the announcer yells “Cerebral!” an obvious dig at Myst’s tough puzzles and arguably pretentious writing. Beating the game also gives you a congratulatory screen with a link to Mensa International – a super exclusive club for those with high IQ.
Pretentious or groundbreaking? That’s up for debate, but the RPS crowd seemed split on the 1994 adventure when we asked ‘Have You Played Myst?’ seven years ago. Whether you loved or hated it, though, you’ve definitely not seen it in this form.
If you want a more loving rendition of Myst, the remake is available on Steam for £24/€25/$30, and a remake of Riven – the sequel – is currently being built “from the ground-up.”
