Activision have celebrated my birthday in the traditional manner by announcing a new Call Of Duty game. Said Call Of Duty game is Black Ops 6, “a dark new chapter” in the Treyarch-helmed FPS sub-series which is known for seedier and weirder, alt-historical or post-future stories featuring hallucinations and cybernetics and catchy period music.
What do we know right now about Black Ops 6? Friend, right now I can tell you little other than that the logo art appears to feature a wolf wearing the Capitol building as a hat. Please let this not be my weary end-of-week projection. Please let this be evidence that Black Ops 6’s major antagonist (or protagonist?) is a wolf so vast it is obliged to clothe itself in major US landmarks. Perhaps it could wear the Pentagon as a diaper? Ho ho ho I slay myself. Please let this be evidence that Black Ops 6 is secretly a Bayonetta game. Hitting a giga-wolf over the noggin with the Capitol building is absolutely a thing Bayonetta would do. You can keep your silly tactical nukes, Mason.
2024’s Call Of Duty will get a proper reveal at Summer Games Fest, and is the subject of many a rumour. For example, the game will reportedly be the first Call Of Duty to launch on Game Pass, which one former Microsoft employee has described as essential if the subscription service is to do numbers of sufficient magnitude to offset Microsoft’s recent billion-dollar inhalation of Activision-Blizzard. It’s also rumoured to be set during the events of the first Gulf War.
Inasmuch as I have emotions about Call Of Duty these days, Black Ops is the aspect of the FPS juggernaut I have the greatest fondness for. It’s as basically batshit and half-cocked in its representation of war and history as the Modern Warfare series, but Black Ops at least has the courtesy to be openly batshit and half-cocked rather than making reference to authenticity and fidelity. A giga-wolf would fit in perfectly here, Activision. Make it so. Come on, it’s my birthday.
