Returning to the X-Men in Tumultuous Times
I restarted a pull at my local comic shop after reading the first issue of HOX/POX. After years of reading back issues on Marvel Unlimited and struggling to stay interested in the thread of the X-Men line, I was immediately pulled in by the stellar execution of the reboot and its massive shifts in scope and tone. It seemed that while I had been sleeping, the world had changed.
The process of collecting and organizing comics had been a somewhat sacred ritual of mine. I struggle with OCD, anxiety, and hyper fixation. So the simple act of reading, bagging, boarding, and organizing comics can be extremely therapeutic.
When HOX/POX provided a new jumping-on point to start a serious collection, I turned my pandemic-era anxiety and obsessive impulses into a practical coping mechanism that allowed me to ground myself in something that I can control. Who can obsess over the active pandemic and the destructive fallout of the Anthropocene when there are short boxes to organize by reading order rather than release chronology?! I’m kind of kidding, but only kind of.
During much of the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve been unwell. (It’s still going btw, we’re in Season Five of the pandemic according to my series breakdown) Not physically sick thankfully but mentally deteriorating. I know, who hasn’t right? As my isolation, anxiety, and stress level increased I found ticks that I had lived with my whole life becoming more prominent and harder to control. I struggle to maintain my attention on tasks, the most minor distraction often spinning me off into the negative zone. I obsess over minor interactions, constantly concerned that people are mad at me for no reason. I’m lonely but don’t reach out for fear of burdening someone else who is also overburdened. Also, spending time with people is often as draining as loneliness. I hyper-fixate on hyper objects like climate change, the internet, and god and often find myself devastated without really knowing why.
For the past several years, it’s felt like I’ve been hiding in my egg, only leaving when necessary, only accomplishing the basic tasks that I must. In times when I’ve felt my most unmoored, afraid, and rudderless (read: all of the time) I’ve found myself diving deeper into my passion for collecting comics. I have collected every issue (including tie-ins) of Dawn of X, Reign of X, and Destiny of X and plan to continue. I started buying the full Claremont run in omnibus format. Collecting, bagging, sorting, boxing, reorganizing, and eBay omnibus hunting has become a way for me to balance, quiet, and make sense of a world that feels like it hates and fears everyone whom I love.
The X-Men are flawed heroes and an imperfect metaphor, offering readers both new and old the opportunity to explore complicated concepts panel by panel, while our own world (and its inhabitants) struggle to break out of destructive patterns. Does it always work? Of course not. Nothing does. But in this modern era, Marvel’s mutants are more radical than ever and I’ve never been more excited to be a reader and a fan. The X-Men help me imagine a world outside of the egg, a world beyond tomorrow.
Read the next installment of this series over here! History of X – Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1.
Micheal Foulk is a non-binary queer writer, comedian, and organizer thriving in Oakland, California. They are the co-host of I’m Not Busy — a weekly podcast with Vanessa Gonzalez — the co-creator of the LGBTQ+ storytelling show Greetings, from Queer Mountain, and the curator of the film screening series Queer Film Theory 101, produced in collaboration with Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas. Their work has been published in Slate, Vice, Into, Comics Beat, and TimeOut NY.
Micheal will make you a playlist if you ask nicely.
