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AEW Rampage is airing at a special start time this week, as Tony Khan colludes with TIME ITSELF to try to upstage WWE Smackdown and RUIN THE CHADSTER’S LIFE! Despite this personal vendetta against The Chadster, who has done nothing wrong other than offer a balanced, unbiased voice in wrestling journalism, The Chadster has still been assigned to bring you this preview of tonight’s episode, which, in The CHadster’s opinion, just goes to show that Bleeding Cool editor Ray FLook doesn’t understand the first thing about the wrestling business… and neither does his dog.
Here’s the lineup for tonight’s episode of AEW Rampage:
The Chadster has made his feelings on the Owen Hart tournament clear many times. It was over 20 years ago when WWE accidentally killed Owen Hart at Over the Edge, and you would think he would have let it go by now, but instead he joined AEW to be the namesake of this tournament and it is TOTALLY CHEESEING THE CHADSTER OFF. What did AEW do to earn this honor, besides not killing Owen Hart? Plenty of companies have not killed Owen Hart, so it feels a little bit personal to The Chadster that AEW is where he ends up.
The Chadster can’t stand this guy Hook and how over he is with the crowd. The Chadster doesn’t get it. Even The Chadster’s own wife, Keighleyanne, has her eyes glued to the TV whenever Hook is on, and The Chadster just can’t understand why. She’s normally not such a big wrestling fan, and it’s not like his moves are all that flashy or anything like that. Maybe she thinks he has good ring psychology? And she wonders why The Chadster remains sexually impotent. How is The Chadster supposed to have sexual intercourse with someone who likes AEW?!
Here is another particularly disrespectful match on AEW Rampage tonight. Two wrestlers who had it perfectly good in WWE and decided to join the competition just because WWE fired them. Look, girls, how is WWE supposed to keep putting out press releases about their record quarterly revenue numbers if they don’t release a few dozen wrestlers every few months? It’s just business. But joining AEW… now that’s personal! Auughh man! So unfair!
But the ultimate unfairness is when two wrestling companies team up to BULLY The Chadster’s beloved WWE, and that’s exactly what’s happening here, as DDT star Konosuke Takeshita takes on AEW’s Jay Lethal. It’s international bullying and it’s just so unfair and disrespectful to everything WWE has done for the wrestling business. IT’s already just so unfair that AEW competes with WWE in the first place when WWE rightfully earned its spot as the number one wrestling company in the world, and it’s simply poor sportsmanship to gang up on WWE.
Remember, AEW Rampage starts early tonight, at 5:30/4:30 Central, but The Chadster hopes you forget because the more important show, Smackdown, is on later, and that’s the bottom line ’cause Chad said so!