Paper Mario Thousand-Year Door cat-calling censored in remake

Some fans have noticed that in the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Switch remake, Nintendo adjusted the dialogue for a scene involving cat-calling Goombas.

This happens early on in the game with allies Goombella and Professor Frankly who run into a few Goombas while navigating through the ruins found underneath the city of Rogueport. The Goombas cat-call Goombella, who tells them to bug off.

Here’s the original dialogue (which you can see here) in the GameCube release:

Goomba: “Hey! Hey, man! What’s up? Who’s the hottie you got there with you?

Paragoomba: “Wassup, baby? Why don’t you hang with us for a while? We play real nice!

Spike Goomba: “Man, what’s a FINE-lookin’ Goomba doin’ with a tubby mustache man like that?!?”

Goombella: “Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that you boys think I’m cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like…TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!”

Goomba: “Ouch that was cold!”

Paragoomba: “What, you’re too good for us? Come off it, sister!

Spike Goomba: “Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let’s get ’em!”

And here’s the new dialogue from the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Switch remake (shown here):

Goomba: “Hey! Hey, man! What’s up? You think it’s cool to just waltz your way into OUR underground?

Paragoomba: “Typical! You surface-level snobs are so stuck-up. ‘OoOoh, I get to see the sun! I like to breathe clean air! OoOoh!’”

Spike Goomba: “Heh! Yeah! Come on over here, scruffy mustache man…We’re gonna teach you some proper manners…”

Goombella: “Leave him alone! Can’t two academics and a world-famous hero wander the sewers of a port town in peace? If this is your usual greeting to visitors, then you must have learned it down here…because IT STINKS!

Goomba: “Ouch! That was cold!”

Paragoomba: “What, you’re too good for a fight?! If you ain’t lookin’ to tussle, then stay out of the sewer!”

Spike Goomba: Nobody doesn’t start a fight with us! Nobody! Let’s get ’em!”

Before Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door originally came to GameCube in the west, one fan who went by the name spookychee on GameFAQs did provide a translation guide. Based on that, it seems the Goomba cat-calling scene was true to the original Japanese version with Goombella being hit on and rejecting the enemies.

Nintendo ultimately felt that the updated dialogue would be better suited for Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Which version do you prefer?

One of the big attractions for the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is obviously the updated visuals. On top of that though, some smaller additions and improvements are included. You can read about that here.

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