Fernbus Simulator PS5 Review – Don’t Run For This Bus

Ah, another niche simulator game. Of course, this is my brand of jam. I’ve played them all at this point, and there’s nothing off-limits for me. Being that my favorite simulators are of the driving variety — I’ve trucked my way from Arizona to Las Vegas in American Truck Simulator, and Berlin to Amsterdam in Eurotruck Simulator — Fernbus Simulator seemed like a safe bet. Sadly, it isn’t the game to break the console curse, meaning console players are still left in dire need of a decent long-haul driving sim.

Fernbus Simulator follows the familiar pattern, though with the added flair of including licensed FlixBus coaches — great for all those fans of affordable, long-haul (and uncomfortable) coach journeys across Europe.

You start out as a nobody in the industry and your job is to hit the road and make a name for yourself. Or, at least, that’s what I assume Fernbus Simulator wants you to do. The first problem (of many) with TML Production’s sim is that it’s not the clearest of games. I don’t mean shoddy resolutions. I mean confusing menus, a general lack of guidance, and no consequences for clearly illegal actions.

RELATED: Clive ‘N’ Wrench Review – A Classic 3D Platformer Stuck Too Far In The PastI started my Career mode by trying to recreate my quarterly Wolfsburg to Amsterdam pilgrimage. I named the route “Voyage of the Sesh” and gave it the appropriate 420 route number. However, I discovered that driving from Wolfsburg, the arse end of Germany, to Amsterdam, the paradise of the damned, is not possible, as I had a limited radius in which I could operate based on my hometown selection of Wolfsburg. So, I settled with Bielefeld, a German city that is rumored not to exist. It’s a stupid German joke that only makes sense to Germans, and despite living among them for eight years, I still don’t get it. I don’t get German humor at all, to be honest, but I’m sure that’s because I’ve yet to encounter it…

So, my first journey, which I scheduled myself in the awkward user interface, was to be a 10AM departure from Wolfsburg Hauptbahnhof with a 12:48PM arrival in Bielefeld. Naturally, the first thing I did was have a quick mooch around on foot to explore my local area. I was curious to see if it was an accurate representation of the city I call home. It wasn’t. It was pretty poor, and of the dozens of European cities I’ve frequented, none in this game actually bore more than a passing resemblance to their real-life counterpart.

To be fair, it would be wild to expect a fairly small studio to faithfully recreate the city streets of hundreds of major European cities to the point that I could walk from my favorite watering hole to my favorite puking spot (the entrance of the city council offices, for whoever is wondering), but I’d have liked a bit more detail in the bigger, more well-known cities, such as Berlin, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, and the like. Instead, we get low-effort reproductions that lack the detail and life that makes them international destinations. Amsterdam lacks the toked-up Brits enjoying the local produce and making a nuisance of themselves. Berlin has a severe lack of self-conscious hipster types with their carefully crafted second-hand outfits. Paris lacks the, I don’t know… Je ne sais quoi. If you got that joke, très bien, mon ami.

OK, so we’ve established that the digital recreations of major European cities are missing the flavor that makes them world-famous, but this is a bus sim, not Walking Around Europe Simulator 2023. So what’s the actual gameplay like?

In fairness, the basics are there. The driving feels responsive enough, or as much as I can imagine driving a real bus feels like — nobody has been brave (or stupid) enough to let me command an actual bus, not yet at least — and on a visual level, it kind of gets a passing grade. Driving through the built-up city areas is not great, and the design can only be described as ugly as sin. There’s a lack of polish to the surroundings, and there’s an over-reliance on the “standard” European tenement apartment blocks, as well as a lack of realistic textures and lighting, making everywhere look uncharacteristically bright. But, in the interest of being fair, once you hit the motorways (autobahns, as we call them here in Germany) things do look a little better. Not much, but a little.

The main visual issues come from the poor optimization and the weird visual bugs and glitches that seem to plague every other trucking/bus sim on consoles. Traffic will materialize out of thin air, or, if you smash head-on into another vehicle, it’ll simply pop out of existence. I’m not asking for the gore and goo that comes from a road traffic accident, but at least leave the vehicle stranded on the roadside while I book it down the motorway, insurance details and expired license firmly hidden from those wanting it.

The problem is, not only do you get no real visual feedback from your actions, but there’s very little deterrence to not break every road traffic law known to man. The Career Mode gives you experience points for every completed trip, with more experience being given out for well-driven journeys and correct procedures. Drive like an idiot, and you get less experience points. But what do the experience points do? You level up and get other vehicles, but that feels a bit cheap and against the grain of business-orientated sims. In other games, you earn your money for doing well and you lose it for being a prat. An entire shift’s profits can be wiped out in a fit of road rage in other games, but here, you just don’t get as many magic points at the end; you don’t actually lose anything. The stakes are simply non-existent.

Fernbus Simulator is as niche as it gets, and there’s sure to be an audience that will enjoy it for what it is. The actual driving around is decent enough, and at least on the basic level required to meet the minimum standard. It’s just that everything else falls well below. The graphics are poor. The sounds are flat. The cities feel like mocking parodies that need to be escaped rather than interesting places to be explored. If all you want to do is drive from one place to another and experience the thrills of the European road network, you’ll get your kicks. But if you’re wanting an actual simulator that rewards time investment and player dedication, this isn’t it.

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